Dealing with it..

So, I told you guys the other day that I had an interview with a local company. Well, it's not so "local" as it was just founded in the town I live in. It's Publix. Corporate. Publix. It was a clerical position and, as 8 years a hairstylist, a lot of my experience in that specific industry can be placed in every other industry out there.

I applied. I took the crazy weird test that they sent. I did well. I got called for an interview. Found out that over 90 people applied for the job, and 4 got called for an interview. ME.. I was one of those 4! Got called for a second interview. What? One of two people. Out of an original 90! WHAT?! Little ol' me? Insane.

But, then I got the call this morning, that they went with the other candidate. Can't say it didn't sting like salt poured on an open wound would, because it did. Bad.

All I kept thinking was "Now what am I going to do to help support my family?" "I'm not ever going to find a job.." "Nobody wants to hire me" "I don't want to go back into the hair industry after being all hyped up about this job" and felt, seriously, sorry for myself.

But, then, I turned my sorrow into happiness for that other candidate. Congratulations to her, she got a great job at a great company, with amazing benefits. Really! She should feel so proud of herself. Hell, I'm proud of her! (I saw her before my second interview, she's really pretty, too.)

Then, something else happened.. God has way bigger plans for me than I do for myself. On my way to the second interview, I start crying. Talking to him the whole way (I really need to learn the art of "Praying Properly", because Him & I just have talks. Like, me saying "Yo Jesus! Let me tell you what's goin' on now.. PS. Thanks for everything. You're pretty rad.") Within my conversation with God I say how I've always seen myself, while I was a kid growing up, as being a #SAHM, but I know He has other plans for me, and if this is that other plan, then let it be and I will welcome that. But, apparently it wasn't meant to be. There's something different and more for me. And that more right now is my daughter. My husband. My home. My future children.

I feel like plans change everyday, and if I didn't go on that interview I wouldn't realize how lucky I am to be able to stay home to be able to soak in and enjoy all these moments with my beautiful baby girl. So what, we're struggling a little bit financially right now. We'll get used to it. We can make it work. Right now, my job is to keep my faith, keep my baby & hubby happy. And that is priceless to me. I will keep my job, with no pay, no benefits, no 401K and still be the richest woman in the world.

Love you, all.